Potty Talk

WARNING: This post is not for the faint of heart...or anyone who is embarrassed or gets queasy at the mention of poop. I counted and the word "poop" is used at least 20 times in this post. This is only for seasoned parents, those who have fought the long, hard battle of potty training.

Potty training may be my least favorite task of parenting. You're supposed to be all supportive and happy if they try to even just sit on the potty. You're supposed to clap and smile even if they pee all over the floor in front of the potty. You're supposed to grin and supportively say, "maybe next time buddy!" when they have pooped in their big boy/girl pants for the umpteenth time. But all you really want to do is shake them and say, "I know you know when you have to poop. You hide behind the chair and tell me to 'stop' when I come near you because you know you are pooping your pants. Instead of pooping in your pants and crying when I have to clean it off of you, just put the poopy in the freaking potty!!!"

Not all of potty training is terrible and difficult. Our kids have done fairly well with the potty part and we have been lucky that they have both been able to get through the night dry as soon as they started going potty. But the pooping part has been a battle that we have been fighting and it just stinks...literally.

We have tried everything to get the poopy in the potty. I had our child sit on the toilet while reading books. No poop. I made up a song, "Go poopy in the potty! That makes Mommy so happy! Go poopy in the potty! You'll get an M&M-y!" As you can imagine, that wasn't super motivating. I've bribed with candy and toys. No poop. I've tried hard not to get mad but it is so unbelievably frustrating!

We've tried sitting our child on the toilet at certain times, putting the potty chair in the favorite pooping spot (behind Daddy's recliner), and just plain leaving undies off so our child will go on the toilet. All that resulted in was yelling and screaming because our child didn't want to be on the toilet and poop piles left on the floor. My favorite was a time when I was getting the kids out of the tub. The first one out came running back in asking for a diaper. That should have clued me in that he had to go poop. I told him just to wait a second but he obviously couldn't. When I went into the living room he's standing by the toy box with a terrified look on his face while he's pooping on the floor. GRRR! And the poop piles have not even been our worst experience...read "Clean Up in Aisle 1" if you want to hear a real whopper of a poop story.

Finally, we have had success in the last couple of weeks. Knock on wood, we haven't had a poop accident lately. What has been the answer you ask? We sit the potty chair in the middle of the living room floor so our child can watch TV while he goes.

I know some of you are probably judging what kind of parent I am right now. Go ahead. I am at the point where I don't care what we have to do, I just don't want any more poopy pants. Some day our child will figure out that maybe it's not quite appropriate to poop in the potty in the living room and he'll decide to actually use the one in the bathroom. Someday, right?

So here's to pooping in the potty even though it is sitting in the middle of the living room floor in front of the TV! It's been a long road with lots of ups and downs but we are proud of you!