Committed

I apologize to all of the parents and fans that witnessed my son and I dueling it out last week at his little league game. It was kind of ugly and definitely embarrassing but something we had to do. It was awful but in the end I think it turned out OK.

I'm not talking about some terrible, sports rage incident between a parent, child, ump and/or coach. I am just talking about the battle of wills between my 5-year-old and myself as I was trying to teach him the importance of making a commitment and sticking to it.

Everyone likes to bat. Sometimes it's
getting them to field that's a little
more difficult.

I knew we were going to have the odds stacked against us even before his game started. My eldest and I were just returning home from a weekend away. I knew when we got home all my son would want to do is hang out and I was right. He did not want to go to baseball. His game fell over the supper hour so he was probably hungry and he was probably tired from being out of routine while I was gone.

Literally ten minutes after my daughter and I got home from our trip we were packing up the car to go to the baseball field. My son was not happy and began whining and complaining about going. "I don't like baseball!" "Why did you make me do this?" "I don't want to go!"

For a moment, I almost caved because all I really wanted to do was go home, unpack, and snuggle with him and my youngest who I had missed all weekend. Instead, I had to fight this battle with him because:

A) I know he likes baseball. He loves playing it at home and asks to play it whenever we are hanging out in Nana and Papa's backyard. He didn't like it today because he would have rather been at home with me and his older sister.

B) I did not make him go out for baseball. I asked him if he would like to try it since he seemed to have an interest in it (as pointed out in A). I explained what it was going to be like...practice, some games, playing with some other boys his age...and he said he wanted to do it. Honestly, if he would have said no I may have had a mini celebration because that would mean I would not have to devote time out of our week to take him to and watch practices and games.

C) I don't care if he wanted to go or not. He signed up for something and he will see it through. I don't care if he plays but he will sit there through the game to cheer for his team, a team he is a part of and who he needs to support.

Running the bases is pretty fun, too,
especially when you make it all the
way home!

We got to the game where his team was warming up. I marched him over to the field, him dragging his feet and complaining the whole time. The coach's wife approached him and asked for him to be partners with her son. He gave no reply, threw himself on the ground into the fetal position and squeezed his eyes shut. I could feel my blood boiling but ignored him as I talked to the coach's wife for a few minutes.

When I calmed down a little, I knelt down by him trying to be nice. "I know you just want to hang out with Mommy right now but you have a job to do and that is to play catch with your teammates." Just some grunting in reply. I walked away hoping maybe if I left he would snap out of it but that didn't work either.

Warm ups ended and the game was about to begin. I literally had to drag him into the dugout. I sat him down on the bench and gave him another little lecture about watching his teammates. He did not play the top of the first inning and tried to sneak out of the dugout at one point. I drug him back in kicking and screaming and sat by him to make sure he stayed put. The bottom of the first he saw his teammates go up to bat. I told him he was going to have to let his coach know if he wanted to bat and towards the end of the lineup he did end up batting. "I just like hitting it. I don't want to catch it." I don't think so buddy. 

Top of the second he just sat there again. I told him he couldn't bat again unless he played on the field and then left him in the dugout to make his own choice. After the other team went through a couple of batters, he came out of the dugout to tell me he wanted to play after all. I directed him to his coach on the field and he played the rest of the game without incident. On the way home from the game he said, "Didn't I do awesome?" 

Really? That's how you feel about the whole thing because the whole time my mind and emotions were running wild: Am I terrible mom for making him do this? I am so angry he is acting this way. I am SO humiliated everyone is watching this. He is going to hate me forever. I missed him so much this weekend and this is how he acts? He needs to learn that I will not back down when he is throwing a fit!

I know some of you probably think I am a little intense. That I may be one of those crazy sports moms. Its true I enjoy watching my kids participate in activities and I do want them to try their hardest but I am well aware they are not going to be some superstar athletes someday. I want my kids to participate in activities (sports or others) because participating in such activities will hopefully help them to their build confidence, learn how to be part of a team, learn respect for coaches/leaders, and learn how to be responsible. What I was really trying to teach my son that night was when you decide to do something, you are making a commitment and you need to follow through with that commitment. 

Okay, he's five. Maybe I was being a little too tough on him but then again, maybe not. If I am letting him get away with it now, what am I teaching him for the future?

He got a lot of action tonight playing
pitcher. Knocked a couple balls down and
even got an out. He was pretty happy
when the game was done.

With all of these ugly battles we have I hope my kids are learning something. I'm hoping they are learning how to be more respectful, less dramatic, more responsible, and more committed. I am their mom and I am committed to trying to help them be the best little humans they can be...and sometimes that is really, really tough!

With all of the drama we had last weekend, I was unsure how this week would go. He was not super thrilled to go to practice on Tuesday but did so without too much complaining. Tonight he was excited about going to the game. Tonight he did awesome! He had a couple hits and got an out and was pretty psyched about his game. On the way home he even asked if he could play again next year. Well buddy, we'll have to see how committed you'll be next spring.

Thanks to my son's coaches who stuck with him through a season of ups and downs. Thanks to all coaches out there who volunteer their time and are committed to teaching young kids how to play the game and be part of a team. Your commitment to our kids is truly amazing!

Growing Pains

Time flies by...can't believe
she is 8 already!

My oldest turned eight the other day. I had a special trip planned for her to celebrate her birthday. The goal was to celebrate being a girl and learn what that all entails. We spent the afternoon dining, shopping, and swimming at the hotel pool. We spent the evening talking about being a girl and how difficult it can be at times.

Our discussion was guided by a couple of books I bought a while ago. One covered body basics, the other about taking care of your emotions. Both introduced topics that led to pretty meaningful conversations about growing up. We giggled a lot but there were also a few tears which reminded me how painful it is to grow up sometimes. It brought back memories of the painful moments I had growing up...my own insecurities, fights with friends, trouble with boys. My heart breaks a little for her as I know this is the beginning of some possibly very difficult years ahead.

My wonderful 8-year-old being
a great big sis and hopefully
a great role model, too!

At the end of the trip it was very apparent it was a trip we needed. A trip I needed. I often am exhausted by all of the time and energy I spend trying to teach her how to be a good kid; at being a confident, respectful and responsible citizen of the world. I sometimes forget how exhausting and painful it can be to be a kid. As I look at her and all of the things she does and doesn't do, at all of the things she is amazing at and all the things she's not, at all of the things she seems to need to learn over and over, I am reminded of what a beautiful, bright, and confident young lady she is becoming and that she is just beginning to learn how to navigate relationships and life while dealing with all these growing pains.

She may be growing up fast but
all I have to do is watch her
sleep to remember she is still
such a babe!

And despite how painful it can be to grow up, it is unbelievable how painful parenting is. Painful to watch you children struggle with friendships. Painful watching them get hurt. Painful watching them fail at something. But the thing that was most painful for me this weekend was realizing how fast she is growing up. During this trip I was able to appreciate all of the good things I sometimes don't see amidst all of the teaching and training we do to ensure she's a successful human being. That being said, it's pretty painful to see her become so independent, to be able to have more grown up conversations. It's painful to think in a blink of an eye she won't want to snuggle or hang out or maybe even confide in me.

I hope we will learn how to be there for and comfort each other as we both endure these growing pains during the next several years. And I hope she will continue to grow to be a beautiful, bright, and confident young lady who loves to snuggle with her mom...even when it's not cool to anymore.