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| What's not to love about this girlie? |
With all of the advice I have received over the past eight years, you know the one that drives me the most crazy? "Cherish every moment." Ugh! It drives me absolutely batty! It drives me crazy because I do not cherish every moment of my children's lives. I don't cherish the moments when they are having full blown temper tantrums. I don't cherish the moments when my daughter purposefully antagonizes my son to get a rise out of him. I don't cherish the moments when they are disrespectful, lazy, or disobedient.
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| Our first...can't believe she's almost eight! |
And after a day like today, I think the real reason it drives me crazy is because I am afraid. I am afraid I will not cherish enough of my kids' childhoods, that they'll grow up so fast that I won't be able to remember the funny things they say, the small acts of love and kindness they show each other, all of their individual quirks. It drives me crazy because as a mom who tries to balance working full time, teaching religious education, carting my kids to various activities, and trying to squeeze in some "me-time," I am afraid I am not devoting enough time to my kids. I'm afraid I'm not enjoying all of each of them. It drives me crazy because I'm scared their childhood is going to vanish right before my eyes.
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| Our baby boy...he's not a baby any more. |
These thoughts have been swirling in my head ever since my first child's birth almost eight years ago but I think they have been more poignant lately as we are going through some major milestones. We're packing up and leaving the house we have lived in ever since my husband and I got married. He carried me over the threshold and we have brought each of our three children to this home to start their lives in our family. I think there is a part of me that fears some of the memories we have made here will be left here when we leave, that I will forget what it was like to talk to my kids through the vent between floors or that their favorite hiding spot during hide-and-seek was always on top of the wash machine behind the curtain.
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| All grown up and ready for Kindergarten! |
They are growing up too fast. Next year will be the first year all three of our kids will be in school (3rd, Kindergarten and preschool). It is unbelievable that our oldest will be eight soon...and I have a hard time remembering what she was like as a baby. It makes me terribly sad. I wish I could cherish more moments but it is difficult when I am just trying to survive some days.
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| The first night as our complete family. Lots of memories made. |
As I was putting my son to bed tonight after an exciting day of Kindergarten round-up, he happened to request "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch for his bedtime story. Needless to say I only made it through about 3 pages before I started bawling. And my sweet boy wraps his arms around me and says, "I love you Mommy." I think it was a sign. Slow down. Take a breath. Cherish these moments.
I know I will always struggle to find the perfect balance between having a career, being a mom and taking time for myself. I pray that God will help me get through the days I want to pull my hair out and He'll help me hold onto all the memories and moments I have with my kids.
So the next time someone tells me to "cherish every moment," I will try to not panic or roll my eyes. I will try to give each of my kids an extra hug, tell them I love them one more time, and appreciate all the small moments we share.
