Please Excuse This Mess

A good friend called me Friday evening to ask for an impromptu adult play date. Knowing that both of us just wanted to sit in our sweats and chat, I invited her over but felt compelled to say, "Just to warn you, my house is a mess." Her reply, which I very much appreciated, was, "Aren't we a bit beyond that?"

One of the reasons we have
a messy house...and dirty
kitchen floors!

A huge wave of relief washed over me. There was no pressure to get all of the groceries put away, all mail removed from kitchen countertops, floors swept (or better yet, scrubbed), toys thrown into toy room, and all doors shut around the house so she couldn't see the evidence behind them of how we lived our daily lives. I knew she was going to see our house how it was on a typical day in our life and she wasn't going to judge me because let's face it, her house probably looks the same on a daily basis.

Why do we have such pressure to have a perfect house when people come over? I am mortified when people just stop by and see our messy entryway, which happens to be our kitchen, with shoes and coats strewn all over the floor, dishes piled up in the sink and leftover breakfast bowls on the kitchen table. For me, it feels as if their first thought is, "Whoa! Can't she get it together?"

How our living room typically looks.
They love making "nests" with all
blankies, pillows and stuffed animals.

The truth is, I can't. I cannot work full-time, raise three kids, cook, clean, and do laundry in the amount of time I'm given. I cannot keep a balance in our home where our house looks decent, laundry is caught up, homework is done, and I am prepared for the next day at work. And more importantly, I cannot spend the amount of time I would like doing fun things with my kids.

Things have gotten a little better as the kids have gotten older and are able to be responsible for some things around the house but let's be honest, sometimes it's more work getting them to "clean." I feel like I become that nagging mom whom her children rolls their eyes at. It's when I turn into a stark raving lunatic that they finally take me seriously and help out a BIT more. And I hate it. I hate harping on them to clean up all the time when all I really want to do is just hang out with them and enjoy them at this age.

So that's what we did yesterday. Instead of worrying about the house we worried about doing fun stuff together. And we had a great time. I'm pretty sure I didn't yell at them the whole day and we did things that we wouldn't normally do. I really enjoyed my time hanging out with them instead of worrying about the Kix that were spilled all over the living room floor or the five loads of laundry waiting to be folded.

One of our fun activities yesterday...
homemade volcano!

And after our special time together the kids were much more willing to help around the house. I washed, Will rinsed and Liv dried dishes until they were all done. Will picked up his room (with a little of my help) and Liv did her homework without me nagging her to get it done. Maybe instead of focusing on a clean house and impressing everyone else we need to get our priorities straight and enjoy our time with our kids.

So if you come to my house and it's a disaster, please excuse my mess. I was probably playing with my kids.