What She's Made Of

What do you get when you have 3 consecutive rainy days and two kids who need to burn off some major energy? A trip to the ER and 7 stitches in the chin, obviously. Liv running across the kitchen with a blanket on her back + Will stepping on it = a messed up mouth and a gash in the chin.

Of course there were lots of tears initially, especially when Livi saw all of the blood that was running down her face. Brad handled himself pretty well since he gets woozy at the tiniest bit of blood. He scooped her up while I ran to get a wet cloth to hold on her chin. Luckily, Nana and Papa were here to manage the other two while Daddy and I whisked Liv away to the hospital.

So as I held her in the car she stopped crying and she asked me to sing her her favorite bedtime song. I had to try my absolute hardest to steady my voice so she couldn't see how upset I was for her. After a song, we started telling jokes and then counted by 2s, 5s, 10s, and 20s until we got to the hospital...not a single tear in the car.

When we arrived at the hospital we were ushered to a room immediately...lucky day! The nurse coaxed Livi into letting her take off the cloth and peeked at it quick. No wincing, no moaning, no tears. And same thing when the doctor came in. He didn't mention stitches out loud but we knew they were coming. He mentioned we could do it by strapping her down or not. I chose not.

All cleaned up and ready to relax!

Soon time came to sew her up. I was honest with her although I tried to avoid mention of the "s" word. She knows what stitches are so I didn't think it was good to get her all worked up. They tilted her head back and began to tug on the skin around the cut. It didn't seem to bother her so they went to work. Again we started with songs, telling stories, talking about birthday presents, and whatever else came to mind while the doctor did his work. No wincing, no moaning, no tears! Pretty good for both Livi and me :)

Seven stitches later she was sitting up eating her Popsicle and laughing about how Daddy had to go wait in the waiting room because he was such a wimp and how tough she was. I have to admit I didn't think that would go quite that easily. I was so unbelievably proud of how brave and tough she was.

It's amazing to see how your child reacts in situations like these. I remember taking Livi in last year to get her tonsils out and how bravely she walked back with the nurse, nervous I'm sure, but without a single tear. I remember putting on my own brave face as I hugged her and told her I would be there as soon as she woke up and then fell to pieces as soon as they were out of earshot. I thought she was just trying to act tough, but after today I think I have pinpointed a piece of her personality.

There are a lot of words I could use to describe Livi. Curious, precocious, enthusiastic, brave, tough, resilient... But I think the word that describes her best is stoic. She is NOT one of those kids who wears their hearts on their sleeves. (I am not saying this is bad. This is just not her.) Don't get me wrong, she can be dramatic at times. But mostly, she doesn't let people know how she's feeling. Take tonight as an example. I THINK she was feeling scared, overwhelmed, hurt, and anxious but she came off as tough and brave because she didn't want anyone to see her cry or let them know she was in pain.

I'm not saying being stoic is a stellar personality trait. Some synonyms for stoic include indifferent, resigned and passive. At certain times, I think these can all describe her. It's because of these traits I fear that she is going to have a difficult time letting people get to know her and she may hold others at a distance. I'm afraid this may affect friendships and in the future, romantic relationships.

But I found it interesting that synonyms for stoic also include enduring, tolerant, and patient which I do believe describe her well and are all great virtues to possess. These are traits that can be great to foster relationships.

So I know she's only 5 and there are so many challenges she'll face and so many ways her personality will grow and manifest itself. I just hope as she grows and discovers herself she will be able to tap into the right parts of her stoic-ness at the right times. As of tonight, I'm pretty proud of my brave, tough, stoic little girl.

Thanks to All You Mamas

I recently went to Chicago for a conference with a co-worker and 6 other women I didn't know. I have to admit I was a little nervous. I was worried I was going to be the odd man out since my co-worker and the 6 other women all work for the same school district. I was the tag along and just didn't know what kind of dynamic there would be.

Well, what do you think would bond me with a bunch of strangers? Of course our kids. By the end of the week we were sharing our parenting horror stories...peeing and pooping and puking, oh my! By the third night together we were sharing details of our labors and deliveries. When you have kids, no topic seems to be off limits...especially after complimentary cocktail hour at the hotel :)

That's the thing about becoming a mom. It bonds you deeply to friends, old and new, and in this case to complete strangers. You understand now all of the work it takes being a mom and you no longer judge that mom with the screaming child in Target. You relish in the camaraderie you have with fellow moms as you struggle to "do it all" while keeping yourself and your kids alive. You can laugh at your most embarrassing mom moments and empathize with each others' struggles. Becoming a mom forces you to get over yourself and your insecurities because your focus becomes your kids.

And with each mom I bond with, I learn a little something new. Sometimes it's simple things like using a Norwex cloth can help get dried fingernail polish out of your carpet. Sometimes it's how to discipline little boys without taking away their lively spirit. Sometimes it's just remembering how fortunate I am to have been blessed with a wonderful husband and three happy, healthy kids and a wealth of friends and co-mamas.

Thank you to all those mothers out there who have taught me a thing or two about parenting. And thanks to my own mom for being a great example of what it takes to be a wonderful mom.